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Give me quantity over quality any day. We found a picturesque pub that looked so quaint sandwiched in between an off-licence and several industrial wheelie bins.

Laura opted for the soup yawn. I scoffed mine down in a minute flat and headed to the wante for a second wine. I tried to hold my breath.

She looked at me with disdain as I emptied the contents into my gob and went for a few more spoonfuls. I kept looking at Laura with sad eyes. The tight, greedy beggar!

Still, who wants to eat out with greedy mates? Shelley Lofthouse goes Dutch and asks: By Shelley Lofthouse.

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